My Plan to Fix Rutgers Football

My name is Danielson and I have lived in New Jersey my entire life. As a diehard fan of Rutgers Football, you could imagine my disappointment every Saturday afternoon when I check the score and they are losing 42-7 to a below average Big Ten team. The program is a fucking joke. I couldn’t tell you the last time they won a game against a ranked opponent. I couldn’t even tell you when Rutgers won a game against a somewhat respectable Division 1 program.

Everyone likes to make fun of Rutgers and shit on them; and rightfully so. However, this program is the same that went 8-5 in 2014 and beat North Carolina in a bowl game. Just five years ago they lost a heartbreaker in Piscataway, New Jersey in the Big East championship game against Teddy Bridgewater and Louisville. Greg Schiano, who coached the Scarlet Knights from 2001-2011, got me into Rutgers football. He brought Division 1 football to New Jersey and we were actually very competitive for most of those years. He made me fall in love with the scarlet and black. But since he prematurely left to coach the Tampa Bay Buccaneers (a fucking disaster and hurt his coaching career until he got a call from Ohio State), the Rutgers football program has been on a somewhat fast decline into one of the worst college teams in the country. This program has a history. They have had success. What the fuck happened?

Former head coach Kyle Flood (2012-2015) benefited from a Schiano roster his first couple years and then 2015 happened. The season was marred by alleged misconduct by Flood and the arrests on violent felony criminal charges of several players. Long story short the program collapsed on itself with bad leadership from the top combined with lousy recruiting. This is my plan to fix Rutgers Football:

  1. Hire an athletic director that knows what they are doing.

Their current AD is some irrelevant fuck named Patrick Hobbs. His expertise? He joined RU in 2015 after serving as Dean at the Seton Hall School of Law from 1999 to 2015 and oversaw the Department of Athletics for the Pirates from 2009 to 2011. What the fuck? Who the fuck hired this dude? This guy’s first hire was Chris Ash who was the defensive coordinator at Ohio State. A good get on paper, but the guy spent 2 years at Ohio State under URBAN FUCKING MEYER. He was a glorified assistant who greatly benefited from Urban’s tremendous recruiting and coaching. Ash so far has proved my point. The dude gave up 73 points to Michigan last year and lost to Eastern Michigan last week. I’ll get more into this buffoon later.

Anyways, a good football program is only has good as their A.D. The athletic director sets the tone, oversees all the hires, and essentially controls the program from afar. Just get me someone in the chair that knows what they are doing. That’s all i’m asking for. Don’t give me the Seton Hall Law School’s dean. Give me the fucking office paper bitch in Clemson or Alabama’s athletics office. I’ll take anything over this Hobbs guy. He’s got no right to be in control of a rebuilding Division 1 athletic office.

2. Don’t tell me we don’t have enough funding.

Our head coach is currently the highest paid employee in New Jersey. Granted his $2 million in total pay in 2016 is tied for No. 56-highest among the 128 FBS schools in the nation and ranks No. 12 out of 14 in the conference, but that’s mostly because he was hired as a first-time head coach. There is money to go around. Rutgers is just run by a bunch of idiots.

3. Fire Chris Ash and hire someone with bravado

This program needs some zest. Needs some fucking spice. This program is more boring and irrelevant than Sportscenter The 6. I know Ash is only a year and a half in and you need to see how his recruiting classes do, but so far he seems like an absolute disaster. His recruiting classes on paper seem to be pretty lethargic in a state where there are some big prospects every year. Ash has never and will never be a big-time recruiter or a take-over-the-room kind of guy.  And I personally think he’s not a good enough tactician and developer to make-up for below average recruiting classes playing in the Big Ten. I realize Harbaughs and Sabans don’t grow on trees, but there are plenty of better guys for the job than Ash. Here are my candidates:

Lane Kiffin (FAU head coach) – I don’t give a fuck about him maybe plowing Saban’s daughter or whatever happened in Tennessee, USC, or with the Oakland Raiders. Guy can fucking recruit. New Jersey has had some BIG time recruits (Jabril Peppers, Corey Clement, Rashan Gary, etc.) come up across the state and are loaded with national powerhouse programs like Don Bosco, St. Joseph Metuchen, Paramus Catholic, etc. Why the fuck can’t we keep our recruits in-state? Because no one wants to play for Chris fucking Ash and our disorganized program. I have visited Rutgers multiple times, toured the campus, and been to a game at High Point Solutions Stadium. The campus is awesome and loaded with great food stops. The bar and frat scene is incredible. Gameday is awesome. The student body just needs something to cheer for.

Les Miles (Free Agent) – The guy can recruit and he can coach. Big name. Can bring some sexy back to the program.

Art Briles (Free Agent, Scumbag) – I trust the Piscataway police department to give Art Briles some checks and balances.

Give me fucking Jerry Kill (our current offensive coordinator) for christ sakes. He actually did some impressive things at Minnesota before he resigned due to his health.

Kevin Sumlin or Jim Mora (Texas A&M coach, UCLA coach) – Chances are one of them gets canned by the end of the year. They can recruit and have had success. Maybe their programs were just too big to handle. They could be perfect with Rutgers where expectations are super low and they will be given all the time they need.

Brent Venables (D-Coordinator at Clemson) – Genius. Get him over here.

Greg Schiano (D-Coordinator at Ohio State) – BRING THE GOAT BACK!


4. Fucking pray





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