NFL Sunday Slate – Week 3, 2017

Wow!  What an electric Sunday.

First off, I absolutely love the 9:30 start from across the pond.  Nothing like waking up after a night of debauchery with the boys, and having instant action.  Not to mention you don’t have to watch all of the trash pregame shows from 10-1.

As a blogger who respects myself, I will not make this slate about politics or the anthem, just about the amazing slate we got blessed with today.

Let’s get into it.

The Morning Slate – From Across the Pond

Jacksonville 44 – Baltimore 7

In the battle across the pond, Blake Bortles looked like Joe Montana, throwing 4 TDs, including 2 to Mercedes Lewis.  What the fuck is good with that? Since when was Mercedes Lewis still in the league.  Guess anything can happen in London.  Baltimore catches their first L, as their Defense and Flacco must have went out in London the night before.

The 1:00 Slate

Chicago 23 – Pittsburgh 17

Big Ben loves playing down to his competition on the road.  Despite an all time classic Bears play,

the overtime thriller ended with a walk off for Jordan Howard and a Bears win.  Are the Bears back?  One of many great games that made this slate so special.

Atlanta 30  – Detroit 26

Another great game.  I am personally shocked at how tight Detroit kept this game.  Maybe they are for real.  Probably not though.  Matthew “Mr. 4th Quarter” Stafford fell about a 1/4 yard short in his comeback attempt and Atlanta sneaks out of Detroit with a big win in the battle of the undefeated.

New England 36 – Houston 33

Wow.  Another one score game that came down to the last play.  Brady with a two minute drill, drives the ball down the field with ease and delivers an absolute strike to Brandin Cooks for the game winning score.

Brady and Cooks both put up huge numbers, and Deshaun Watson’s two interceptions were simply too much to overcome for the Texans.  Is it time to hit the panic button on the Patriots season.  Letting up 33 points to the Texans?? I am smashing that panic button if I am a Patriots fan.  

New Orleans 34 – Carolina 13

Wow.  The 2-0 Panthers got absolutely smoked.  Something was clearly not right with Cam Newton, as his 3 interceptions are a serious cause for concern.  We already knew that the Panthers were frauds, but putting up 13 points against the Saints’ tremendous defense just shows that they are trash.  Cam Newton is officially a bust in my book.  As for New Orleans, they were due for a win after the past two hurricanes.  I am surprised it didn’t come sooner.  Nothing gets Drew going like some heavy wind and rain.

Indianapolis 31 – Cleveland 28

Deshoun Kizer vs Jacobby Brissett. Yeah baby.  That is football.  To the shock of nobody, Kizer is not good yet, as he threw 4 interceptions, and Brissett ran in two touchdowns, including the game winner.  Browns looking like they are going for another number 1 pick.  I really think they got a shot this year to go back to back number one picks.  That is a special team.

Minnesota 34 – Tampa Bay 17

My Vikings get back on track with a massive performance. I couldn’t tell if I was watching Case Keenum or 2009 Brett Favre.  Stefon Diggs was unstoppable, and Dalvin Cook looks like the most polished RB we have seen since (dare I say) Adrian Peterson.  The defense did it’s job, intercepting Jameis 3 times and Xavier had Mike Evans throwing a hissy fit (sound familiar?)  Business as usual for the Skoldiers. I am so happy that Case Keenum is my quarterback.  The goat.

Buffalo 26 – Denver 16

After getting his dick sucked for the last week, Trevor Siemian throws two interceptions and gets beat by the Bills, who are doing a horrible job at tanking.  Big game for Tyrod and the boys, as Denver clearly is back to their old ways of not being able to score points on offense.

New York 20 – Miami 6

Sam Darnold Jet’s jerseys were flying high in New York, until Josh McCown put up a Goat performance and now they are getting his bust ready for Canton.  A horrible performance for Cutler and Miami, as they looked very lost after Ajayi got hurt.  Hope he is alright.

Philadelphia 27 – New York 24

Another one score game, and probably the game of the week.  It starts off as an ugly NFC East matchup, as the Eagles led 14-0 in the 4th Quarter.  Then, Odell took over.  Two unbelievable touchdown catches, and one dog celebration because Odell “is a dog, so he is going to act like a dog.”  Alright, Odell, interesting move.  Man, Odell is lucky that he is the most talented WR in the NFL, because he is an absolute mess off the field.  Anyways, the game ends with a Jake Elliot 61 yard field goal.  Nope, you read that right.  The game ended with a Jake Elliot 61 yard field goal.  Banana Land.

The 4:00 Slate

Tennessee 33 – Seattle 27

Like I said in my Week 2 slate, the Seahawks are in trouble.  Their O-Line is absolutley horrible, and if their defense is giving up 33 points, they don’t have a chance.  Big game for Wilson, however, but his 4 TDs were not enough to match Tennessee’s balanced and high powered offense.  We got a classic skirmish in this one, also, as Richard Sherman hit Mariota late.  Nothing like some pushing and shoving to get the piss hot.

Kansas City 24 – Los Angeles 10

Probably the worst part about this Sunday was that we did not get a Phillip Rivers melt down.  His O-Line got it way too easy today.  I expect more out of Phil.  Kansas City continues their tear, as Kareem Hunt looks unstoppable.  Chiefs stay undefeated.  Chargers can’t buy a win.

Green Bay 27 – Cincinnati 24

To the shock of no one, the Bengals blow a lead.  Dalton and company looked very good to start, for the first time all year.  AJ Green was getting involved, and it looked like the Bengals could maybe be that same wildcard round losing team.  Then, Rodgers went bonkers.  First he led a game tying touchdown drive.  Then, he hit Allison deep, which led to the game winning field goal.  Packers do not scare me.  They have a trash roster.  Vikings will kill them.  I don’t care if its Bridgewater, Bradford, Keenum, Kaepernick, or fucking Travaris Jackson.  Skol.

The Night Slate

Washington 27 – Oakland 10

Not much dancing for Marshawn this week, as the R-words absolutely dominated the Raiders.  Washington’s defense looked very legit tonight, as they picked off Carr twice and completely shut down the Raider’s run game.  Captain Kirk was pouring it on, including this long ball to Josh Doctson.

Too early to tell for both of these teams, in my opinion, but I imagine they are both competing for playoff spots come December.

Overall, an unbelievable slate.  SIX one possession games.  That, my friends, is a slate.

Skol Vikings

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Skol

A bigtime Vikings and Providence Friars fan. If the takes are too hot, get out of the kitchen.

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